Wednesday, May 16, 2007


God postpones rapture to snatch Falwell,
asks for Reagan's advice.
Reagan asks God if He/She is better off now than 4 years ago.

The ProConPundit, while visiting Dallas, has learned that Almighty God was actually planning the rapture for Tuesday morning, May 15, but was in a quandary as to what to do with Jerry Falwell. Supposedly, when the rapture occurs, the saved will rise to heaven, leaving their clothes and running automobiles behind. Those who are not saved will have to endure seven years of tribulation and suffering. God was clear on not wanting Falwell in heaven but unsure about whether it was fair to inflict him upon those whose plates would already be full with seven years of suffering.

God asked the late former President Ronald Reagan what to do. The Gipper asked, "Are you better off now than you were four years ago?" God replied, "Why yes I am, as a matter of fact, now that Jerry Ford is here." Reagan quipped, "Well, you won't be able to say that four years from now if you let that self righteous, glutinous, hateful SOB into heaven. On the other hand, its not fair to the damned to pile on more agony with him. Even Democrats don't deserve that kind of suffering."

With that, God quickly dispatched Fal-well to hell telling him that it was nothing personal, but just one more chance to win one for the Gipper. In postponing the rapture, God has not set another date. Reagan and LBJ were encouraging God to have the rapture prior to the next set of presidential debates so that there would not be so many candidates on the stage. God is reported to have said that the rapture would not decrease the number of presidential hopefuls.

Below is the link for Christopher Hitchens candid remarks regarding Falwell's death. Hitchens is an outspoken anti-theist and columnist for Vanity Fair. The ProConPundit often disagrees with Hitchens but his piercing remarks about Falwell and general critique of organized religion is a great call to accountability.

http://newsbloggers.aol.com/2007/05/16/christopher-hitchens-mourns-jerry-falwell-in-his-own-way/

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